Creating Fulfilling Relationship
Fulfilling relationship calls for us to let go of limited beliefs, be fearless and keep ourselves on track in order to develop emotional intelligence. As we become more aware of the feelings, thoughts and beliefs that prevent us from taking enhancing actions for our fulfilling relationship, we will realize what we need to do individually. The unsolved mystery in creating fulfilling relationship is finding trust to do the work that will help us make the crucial choices at points in the evolution of our fulfilling relationship that will enhance the opportunities for intimacy.
Creating fulfilling relationship, which includes finding happiness and contentment, means the process of learning to discover and cultivate the radiant, joyful heart within us that is soulful-love, compassion, joy and equanimity. Throughout this process we will also deal with the core issue of mistrust and the fear of intimacy. For most of us there have been times in our lives when we opened up and trusted and we were hurt and betrayed. Over time we develop a layer of protection. We feel guarded, vigilant and are afraid to let our defenses down. This may show up as a fear of becoming too intimate or a fear of losing our freedom. It also may manifest as clingy, suspicious and jealous, or perhaps as a fear of commitment. We become trapped in hypnotic states, trances that distort the way we see others and ourselves. Fed by our early painful wounds these trances create havoc in our fulfilling relationship, deepening feelings of misunderstanding, rejection, isolation and further mistrust. What is really there is the fear of being hurt again. Out of our mistrust we sabotage intimacy with old protective behaviors such as blaming, attacking, demanding, withdrawing, shutting down and dishonesty.
Through my own personal journey and exploration of what creating fulfilling relationship really means, I have discovered this process involves feeling the feelings I had avoided since childhood. It has also helped me to love and accept my ‘Self’ more fully and I have learned a new level of Love. The reclaiming of my inner child was the beginning of learning to love and creating fulfilling relationship, not the end. That is, I have realized, in order to create fulfilling relationship and experience soulful- love, I must deliberately invest in my ‘Self’ far more than I have done before or thought I needed, deserved or should. This work has opened me to another path of accepting who I am through the understanding of Soulfulness (Soulful-love). I have the capacity to believe in life without limitations, allowing soulful-love to take me into the heart of the human that I am. Creating fulfilling relationship cannot happen unless we are willing to commit ourselves to make it happen. Nevertheless, soulful-love continues to remain faithful to each one of us. If we move even the smallest step out of our limitation, soulful-love will take us to the higher levels of consciousness, embrace us and lead us into the pasture of possibility. In the warmth of Life, it is one thing to love someone. It is another thing to Grow our love continuously and become more inner-directed, and most importantly to train our mind to think in a new way, a way that leads us to embrace our intuitive nature. That is, to serve as a channel through which soulful love flows on a daily basis. Why? I believe soulful-love rejoices in the windings of every day. Soulful-love looks to each day as the life of life. It looks for the richness of fulfilling living. Thus, we have a responsibility to find a rhythm of thinking which reflects and articulates the uniqueness of our individual soul through Love. Through creating a fulfilling relationship, we will be able to identify a process of personal growth and essentially the conscious realization of our authentic selves, beyond the Ego that is presented by our conscious selves. It will also help us to realize that our personal perspectives and conscious ideas are only a small part of who we are individually, and that the more we try to develop and defend this superficial "self" (ego), the further we get away from our true ‘Self’. Creating fulfilling relationship involves forming a “we” that we must understand other persons and not properties to be the objects of soulful-love.
What I hope we grasp from this article on creating fulfilling relationship is that we already have what we want and what we need. We could not even think about seeking something if we had no awareness of it or familiarity with it. It would be too foreign. We seek because something in us has been touched. We are attracted to someone because we already have within us what we are attracted to. We have the heart filled with the desire for the Good. We have the soul that will find our way. We have an imagination with which we can create a fulfilling relationship that reveres all things, especially the depth and sacredness of every day. We can transform our ordinary life into something full of wonder.
Written By: Windsor Lindor © 2017