We lock ourselves up within an uncontrolled idea of belief/thought and/or feeling. It is a helpless place to be trapped. That space is the shape of our reality. We cannot see beyond our fear and we are completely blind to the fact that it is us who construct this place and decide to stay locked in; this punishment is mainly self-punishment. Think about it, emotional intelligent people are individuals who have taken 100% responsibility for their lives and ACTIVELY choose to find the courage to break free to move beyond their emotional pain, let go of the past and take new actions to accomplish all that they can be by living a valued life.
100% responsibility represents our ability to make choices about our thoughts and subsequently to make changes in our life that will positively affect the health of both of our physical and internal well-being.  In addition, when we make these kinds of positive changes, we are taking the position that we have always had the power to make a difference, produce the desired result and be functional and successful human beings. One way to understand what constitutes functionality in our life is by dividing the response-ability. Being able to respond is an 'ability’. Emotional Intelligent people create a functional life and have the ability to respond to their true feelings, needs, thoughts and wants. The most important aspect of taking 100% responsibility for our life is to acknowledge true wholeness as the foundation of our being; nothing can oppose us and we are responsible for our life. That is, what arises as an adversary in our life comes from within us and we are responsible to take the path that will help us to develop the implementation of caring decision that will lead us from grief, regrets and resentment into self-acceptance.
Self-acceptance is taking total self-responsibility for all of our thoughts, feelings and emotions. It is coming to terms with how what we do, think, and say is the sole determinant of, well, us. It also requires accepting that we will live at odds with the "onward and upward" thrust of our individual culture. Full individual acceptance requires a set of values that conflicts with prevailing values. A central requirement of both self-acceptance and adjustment is that one re-fashion one's conception of integrity, of personal wholeness.
True, the world is a place of opposites and competing tensions, these forces are not a power over us. The interpersonal difficulties are dynamic energies within which we can move authentically and appropriately, so long as we remember that we are a spiritual being having a human experience. Thus, as a spiritual being these forces are not against us, and we are responsible for the creation of conflict, interpersonal difficulties, resistance, tension and fear in our life. Why? Because what arises as an adversary in our life comes from within us. With this in mind, I believe there is a relational relationship between thoughts of fear, lack and the inability to let go of the past and how they manifest themselves as experiences, appearing as if someone or something is against us.
When we find ourselves in conflict, with interpersonal difficulties, resistance, tension and fear, we are called to examine how we choose to interpret our life experience. Perhaps this is our major contribution to the quality of our life. Our explanations, assumptions and judgments mediate how we relate to any given situation. If we are holding on to old hurts, resentments and pain, we will be drained and without a radical approach to forgiveness we will continue to relive our past, stuck in revengeful thinking, angered in muck and experience emotional freeze points.
A call for us to take 100% responsibility for our fear-based actions and the hurt they may have caused. Yes, the hurt that may be filling our heart is real. The pain is tangible. Our heart aches. With these experiences, we can't possibly be directing energy toward a positive future. We can't possibly manifest the unique vision of success that we are meant to live. We can't possibly be free to be Fully Human. To release this difficulty and let go of that experience, we may want to find out what is creating this difficulty and the underlying condition that is preventing us from rejuvenating our life and letting go of the pain. We may also want to accept that we cannot be in correspondence with true wholeness without letting go of the past through a radical approach to forgiveness. We cannot experience inner peace when we choose not to eliminate the dysfunctional thought patterns and free ourselves from constantly re-experiencing the emotional pain from the past.

Written By: Windsor Lindor © 2017

CommitmentWindsor Lindor