Reason is vital in determining whom we love, why we love them and why we want to experience the power of Greater Love.  For Greater Love calls us to tune into ourselves and find out what it is that we want in a close relationship as we bring out the best in each other. Greater Love in a close relationship is the life of the soul and there is no fear, no denunciation and rebuke.  I have also learned that we cannot experience the power of Greater Love in a close relationship unless we do something radically different, something that will allow us to open continuously to the truth of our actual human experience. Through my relationship workshops experience with the participants, I have noticed many of them have created protective ‘trance’ states in response to painful experiences in childhood and, later they continue to use these trances to protect themselves even when these states are no longer necessary.

‘Trance’ is a wonderful way to describe the frozen and out of touch state of "mystified Love". There is also hope. That is, if we actually created our own trances in childhood—even if we have no memory of doing so---we can learn to break through our trances as adults and create a new path to intimacy and full creative expression. Thereby through the power of Greater Love, we will overcome all of the states that accompany this fundamental error of trance:

• Fear, loneliness, despair and all of the feelings of fragmentation.

In place of these, the genuine realization of connectedness brings unification, confidence and safety. As we come to an understanding of who we are with an ability to care for ourselves through the power of love, the presumed boundaries between ourselves and others crumble into ash.  We may now wonder how we can experience the power of Greater Love.

I believe we must first choose to let go of hang-ups and reservations that may keep us from coming out to experience Greater Love.

Second, we must embrace the fact that without trust, there is no internal truth. Without internal truth, there is no real love. It is often easier and less painful to deny our need for love than to feel the pain of living without enough of it. As we grow up, we also learn to block our natural response to love because we have often been hurt in the name of love. We have been lied to, controlled, betrayed and sometimes abused. It becomes more and more difficult to accept and trust what someone calls love.

Third, what we may believe to be ‘Love’ is not ‘Love’. That is, the patterns established in our source relationships may be manifested in a surprising number of ways, e.g.:

• Create an idealized or degraded image of what a partner on a relationship is supposed to be.

• Continuously act out our mother’s and/or father’s belief about love and relationships.

• Re-create the defensive strategies we used to survive our relationship with an abusive parent.

• Find people who are the opposite of our source figures and create a committed relationship that is the opposite of our source relationships.

Lastly, the key to experiencing the power of Greater Love is to start where we are and cleanse ourselves from all the rubbish that has gathered in our minds. We must also raise our awareness to a higher level and say, “This is enough.”  Then, look for a way to heal the wounded parts of us that often sabotage relationships and transform in order to become more permeable to the power of greater love. Why? Because experiencing the power of Greater love is crucial to creating fulfilling relationships as we will feel a new sense of power welling up within us, a power which we never before dreamed we possessed.

When the experience of greater love is present, we feel loved. We are happy, alive and free. We feel good about ourselves and good about life. We are confident, creative and very resourceful. We have the sense of purpose and the optimistic ATTITUDE necessary to grow creatively as independent individuals at the same time that we grow closer together in intimacy. Ultimately, we love so generously and wisely that our relationship becomes a sacred treasure to us and an inspiration to others.  

As for now, through time... and space... each faith... and race... let there be Greater Love.

Written By: Windsor Lindor, ELC © 2017